Category: food and drink

I’ve always wondered… what was the best thing before sliced bread? Surely a bread knife?!?!?

Carlsberg do make beers… Shame.

What are cheese puffs made of? Wotsit matter?

I prefer to call the alcohol menu at a restaurant a spirit guide.

I bet the wife that she couldn’t make herself some underwear out of sweets. Fair play though, she’s worked out a way to do it… Smartie pants.

My wife cried when I gave her a birthday present. I knew onions would be a hit.

Paper Jam…. Now that wouldn’t taste very nice.

The McRib is vaguely shaped like a rack of ribs in the same way that people who eat it are vaguely shaped like people

What’s worse than finding a hair in your food? Finding a dreadlock in your Reggae Reggae sauce.

After hearing rumours that Walkers were to change the amount crisps in their bags, I bought some to check it out. It turned out there was nothing in it.

Being an extremely strict vegetarian limits my choice when it comes to eating sausages. Quorn, Soya, or Asda

Given the price of food now think i’m gonna be a veggie, by that I mean no meat, ……….not in a coma

To an optimist, the bag is 1/32 full. To a pessimist, the bag of Walkers crisps is 31/32’s empty. To an engineer, the bag is 32 times as big as it needs to be.

Thousands of people in the Greek town Marathon have had to leave their houses due to the town being surronded by fire! The mayor of Marathon , Spyros Zagaris commented that this was just another attempt by the government to try to rename the town to “Snickers”.

My mate just had a right go at me because I didn’t know kebabs were a Turkish delicacy.. Shish!