Category: food and drink

I was eating a Granny Smith earlier. She didn’t seem to know what was happening but at least she was grateful.

I have this condition… When I can’t sleep all I want to do is eat.. …it’s called Insom-nom-nom-nia

I’m glad McCain micro chips now come in multi packs. If you put all four boxes in at once, you nearly get a full portion.

Want to hear a joke about fruit? A mangoes into a bar…

What’s white and kills children? Chinese milk.

I’ve heard the supermarkets have stopped selling tropical fruit. I’ts enough to make a mango crazy.

Today: world curry festival Tomorrow: world diarrhoea festival

I don’t know why small chocolates called ‘fun sized’? if i called a midget fun sized, he’d kick off.

I hate it when I’m smoking in a restaurant and somebody starts to eat.

Connor the cannon howe

Man walks into a bar and gets served. Obviously not a Wetherspoons pub then.

In an effort to encourage people to get their five-a-day, my local baker has been adding vegetables to his bread. Unsurprisingly, his ‘pea-dough’ isn’t his best seller.

What would happen if you put the salt shaker in the fridge? Don’t know but it’d be pretty cool.

What are Mexican radiators called? Fajitas.

Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut, Terry’s Chocolate Orange, Strawberry Cheese Cake, Lemon Sherberts and Onion Rings. Americans just love getting their 5 a day.