Category: food and drink

I rang Tony’s pizza shop earlier. I said, “Hi there, I was reading your menu and it says, if you don’t deliver to me within the hour my pizza is free?” He said, “That’s correct.” I replied, “Right, I’ll have a giant meat feast then please.” He said, “Certainly sir, can I ask where you […]

Sickipedia don’t do lager . But if they did it would probably be the cheapest, nastiest lager in the world.

I drink so much that the last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

My wife left me because of my obsession with Chorizo The silly sausage.

I used to have a raw meat addiction, but now it’s cured.

‘A juicy, roast Turkey glaced with fine Honey’.. ‘Fresh Carrots hand picked in the British Countryside’.. This isn’t any food… This is overpriced, poncey food.

I’m just nipping next door to wish my Muslim neighbours a Happy Eid, I hope they like the giant ham I’ve got them and the case of Stella…

I think I’ll have a BBQ today seeing as it’s a nice day. I’ve already had my burgers and sausages delivered from Iceland, the hot ash should be arriving any time now.

My local supermarket goes to extreme lengths to ensure the freshness of their products. The dairy section consists of a cow in a fridge.

had a food fight earlier but couldn’t find the French mustard anywhere.

Just for once, I’d like to try a normal sized “Cheddar”.

Midget Gems are just biscuits with turbans on

So the Americans have now bought Cadbury’s. That’s the fruit and nut bar gone forever!

Sad to hear that the inventor of the Doritos has died of nachoral causes.

I love the new flavoured milks you can buy these days. My personal favourites are ‘banana’, ‘strawberry’, and ‘missing girl’ flavour.