Category: food and drink

“Now with real ingredients”, read the pack of Walkers I was eating. To my annoyance, 80% of the packet was still with imaginary ingredients, though.

What do Americans fear more than the 9/11 bombings? Salad.

This foil wrapped bread is a con. It says it lasts for seven days. I ate mine in two.

Is it me, or did Coco-Pops put a monkey on their box on purpose?

A Korean meat factory has exploded. It rained dogs.

Chinese restaurants: Try and cheer your customers up by putting the bill for their meal inside a fortune cookie.

Sky news – ‘Tube Bosses Will Axe More Than 400 Jobs’ As long as there isn’t a shortage of Pringles and Smarties, then it’s all good.

My boss asked me if I liked Thai food. “Yeah, boss. Love it.” Then he pointed out that I’d dribbled my lunch down my shirt front.

Last night, hot words flew between us. She threw alphabet soup in my face.

Aero; why would having less chocolate taste better?

My Australian friend, learning about the Scottish culture, asked me for my idea of the perfect Scottish breakfast. “A bottle of whisky, a haggis and a collie dog” I replied “Why the collie?” “To eat the haggis…”

BBC News: “A Polish man living in Germany spent five years with a bullet in the back of his head having forgotten he was shot because he was drunk when it happened.” Now I’ve had some forgetful nights… but being shot in the head! I don’t care what you say about those Poles, they sure […]

Sunny D counts towards your 5 a day, as -2.

Walker’s crisps are really missing out on the chance for a great trick with their latest “What’s the flavour?” commercials. If it was me, I’d have told that Muslim woman it was bacon flavour.

BBQ RULES: We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes […]