Category: food and drink

Eddie Izzard makes the papers for completing 43 Marathons in 51 days. I’ve eaten a Kit-Kat every day for the last 4 years, but do I get any recognition?

To celebrate 250 year of Guinness, the 24th of September is going to be called “Arthur Guinness Day.” I think I would prefer a whole pint.

My wife’s been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently. Still can’t get the last of that ketchup out though.

A few hours after my daughter drank all of my tomato juice, she got her first period. Now I have to decide whether to educate her about periods, or have the whole carton of juice to myself next time.

If revenge is sweet and a dish best served cold, is it ice cream?

McDonald’s; Proof that Americans are so desperate for Heritage that they claim their patron saint of fast food was Scottish.

Beer. The reason I get up in the afternoon.

Here’s a drinking game to entertain you. Get six mates and all sit in a circle. Each one of you has a bottle of vodka in front of you. On the command “Go” everyone has to drink their bottle as fast as they can. Wait half an hour, then one of you leaves the room. […]

Popcorn! It’s the daddy of the corn family!

I recently heard that Heinz are to stop making tomato ketchup. From a very reliable source.

Man walks into the doctors: “I keep getting the urge to graffiti my initials all over my TV screen” Doctor: “Hmm tricky one, Have you been eating anything different lately?’ Man: “Yes actually, I’ve been eating lot’s of Italian food” Doctor: “Tagliatelle?”

After causing some offence in the office, I’m going to think twice before I describe snacking on an apple as “eating my Granny out”.

What’s the difference between The Royal Family and my breakfast? My breakfast is full English.

Since the birth of my first baby I’ve had endless sleepless nights… These new 24 drinking laws are great!

You know you are from a deprived area when your school prom is being held in a Wetherspoons.