Category: food and drink

Neopolitan ice cream; yellow at the front, red in the middle, brown at the back. The inventor got the idea from his wife’s panties.

New chocolate weetabix…Finally a cereal that looks the same going out, as it did going in.

When getting my lunch from Greggs, I always prefer a vegetarian option containing no meat. The steak bake usually does it.

My wife just told me we’re having burgers for tea tomorrow. I’m relishing it.

I was in the pub last night and some bloke stole my drink off the bar. I just pretended not to notice. One of my mates told me I’d lost my bottle.

Everyone seems to think I’m a alcoholic because I have several bottles of wine with every meal… But it’s the only way I can cope with eating my wife’s cooking.

Just shared a banana with my dad. He had the inside bit again.

Well done to the Americans – the Bagel, the healthy Doughnut. Just fill it with bacon, cheese and eggs if you don’t want it covered in icing.

When Life gives you lemons, be grateful for the gift from your unusually named grocer.

I burnt 600 calories last night. Left my pizza in the oven for too long.

I just bought a dark chocolate Mars bar, It helps you rest and play.

Hey Vegetarians! For every animal you don’t eat, I’m going to eat three.

I bet paedophiles get really disappointed when they ask to see the kid’s menu.

The lonely woman’s shopping list Wine. Ice Cream. Batteries.

I just got my son a KFC Bargain Bucket for his birthday. Its great, all he can eat and something to play with on the beach afterwards.