Category: food and drink

scotch eggs must be absolute nightmares for vegatarians, they have death on the outside, and the potential for life within.

A man walks into a fishmongers with a salmon under his arm. “Do you sell fishcakes?” he asks. “Of course,” says the fishmonger. “Oh good,” says the man. “It’s his birthday!”

I’ve just been to see a moving drama called “Onions: 4D”, By the end, everyone was crying, when the main character was stabbed.

Why is Guinness a racist pint? Because the white always rises to the top.

I like my women how I like my kit-kats. Chunky.

After living on a diet of lager and pot noodles for the past seven days. My wife decided it was brobably best that she did the weekly shopping from now on. Oh well, I can live with that.

“My mum says you are what you eat” “So if you eat runner beans you’ll become a runner” “And if you eat… what’s this then?” “Cabbage, dear”

“What do you do?” “I’m a spy.” “Well why are you dressed as a shepherd?” “I’m a shepherd spy.”

Rights are a bit like Yorkies – Not for Girls

So Starbucks have released an However-you-want-it Frappuccino, where you create your own frappuccino just the way you want it. How about cheaper?

What’s the healthiest part of a McDonald’s happy meal? The toy.

My wife woke me up last night and told me there was a burglar in the kitchen eating some of her left-over cottage pie. I didn’t know who to call first, the police or an ambulance.

Do Korean restaurants serve “German Shepherd’s Pie”?

The wife trained the dog yesterday not to beg for food at the dinner table. She gave it some.

If you can’t beat em, just have your eggs fried.