Category: food and drink

2 Girls 1 Cup – Sponsored by Cadburys Creme Egg How do you eat yours?

Want to get rich quick? Sell beer at an AA meeting.

A hippie woman came into my cafe this morning. “Do you do vegetarian breakfasts?” she enquired. “Of course”, I replied, “I’ll put you some toast on now.”

I changed my name to “the road”. Now everyone buys me a drink as they leave the bar.

I’m so good at cooking, even the fire alarm is cheering me on.

I offered a fat bird a date once, but she turned me down. She wouldn’t touch any kind of fruit.

I just bought some large chips from McDonalds. That should be enough to de-ice my driveway.

I went for a curry last night and ran out of the curry house without paying, when i got back home i was on the toilet for hours. That’s bad korma.

A man walks into a restaurant and notices Lobster Tails for a quid on the menu. He asks the waiter: “What’s wrong with them?” Waiter says: “Nothing, freshly caught today.” So the man orders some, The waiter returns with a book, sits down and says: “Once upon a time, there was a big red lobster…”

why would McDonalds not serve under 18’s? that’s like poundland only serving the Royal Family.

I just got back from a party at my friend Jamal’s place. I felt a bit ill-at-ease being the only white guy there, but on the plus side the food was delicious, especially the fried chicken. Everyone at the party had a piece. As I found out to my dismay when they realised Id eaten […]

So Ramadan’s come round again. It must be a nightmare for all those Asians, resisting the temptation to eat all day, especially as they all work in McDonald’s.

Whats black and stinks? Liquorice

I find it quite ironic that Bernard Matthews died just before christmas.. I guess the turkeys had their revenge

I asked my mate to get me a Stella. He came back with a pint of John Smiths. I was bitterly dissapointed.