Category: food and drink

I went into a Jewish restaurant and asked the waiter, “Why do two fried eggs cost more than two scrambled eggs?” “Well,” said the waiter, “have you ever tried counting scrambled eggs?”

It’s all gravy baby! This is the worst roast dinner ever.

I work at a chocolate factory, but they don’t like me talking about it. Which is why I have to Wispa.

I can really taste my food since giving up smoking. So I’ve decided to divorce my wife.

I have just opened up a shop selling lucky charms and I’ve called it ‘Fortune’. It’s next door to the coffee shop ‘Costa’

I’ve been having a snowball fight with the kids in the park. Wife’s going to hit the roof when she finds her Advocaat gone.

People with pear shaped bodies shouldn’t wear pear coloured clothes.

Carlsberg don’t do an at least half-decent tasting lager. They just do silly adverts.

I have discoved a great way to solve world hunger and world poverty in one simple step: Feed the poor to the hungry.

What’s white and sticky and my girlfriend hates it when she finds ive left some in her underwear? Ice cream

Follow this recipe to make a cheap, but surprisingly tender, pigeon pie. First, get some breadcrumbs and a rolling pin. Then, take the breadcrumbs and rolling pin to the park…

Had a Boyled egg for my tea. It’s like a normal egg but slightly cracked.

Carlsberg do make Lager, it’s probably the worst in the world

Im writing a book on Indian curries. Its naan-fiction.

I saw some woman breast feeding her baby in KFC today. She even give him a few pieces of the popcorn chicken from the mega bucket.