Category: food and drink

Just been on the Walls Sausage’s web-site……..loads of links.

“Butchers pedigree chunks”, Quality dog food coated in a thick gravy sauce with minerals & herbs extracts .. “Made in china.”

For my course at catering college last year, I wrote a 2000 word essay on beer. I couldn’t read a word of it when I’d sobered up.

I’m going to open a restaurant and have a main course called ‘Monty Hall’s Curry Surprise’. Two thirds of the time it will be goat meat

Walkers are now doing an “Extra Fill” bag which means you get 30% extra crisps if you’re not very good with numbers that means you get an extra 3 crisps

I don’t eat indian food anymore. I just chuck a tenner down the toilet. It cuts out the middle man.

I’m gutted I got kicked out of my local cinema for taking my own food. It’s been ages since I had a BBQ.

London is quite like a pack of Rowntrees, there are the black ones, that no one really likes, but there are no white ones.

I tried to genetically change an Apple, but it all went pear shaped.

Recently I’ve been starring in a series of adverts selling processed meat. I’m a Quorn star.

Did you hear about the guy who drowned in a bowl of Muesli? He was dragged under by a strong current.

Don’t talk to me about the laws of probability. I opened a tin of Alphabetti Spaghetti for lunch today, and it was filled entirely with letter ‘o’s. The odds against that happening must be astronomical.

Need a curry urgently; then just call the emergency curry service. All you do is dial Naan Naan Naan

If we’re not supposed to have late night snacks.. why is there a light in the fridge?

What do you call someone who’s scared of KFC? A chicken.