Category: food and drink

I got myself a recipe book for roadkill. I tried one of the recipes and surprisingly it was quite delicious. It didn’t explain what to do with his bike though.

I’ve decided to call my father-in-law the “Exorcist” because every time he came to visit he made the spirits disappear.

Why DO they call it a ‘Selection Box’ when you eat them all in the end eventually?? Might as well call a bag of Maltesers a ‘Selection Bag’.

There was a group of Chavs hanging round my house, so I bombarded them with potatoes. Sauted.

Carlsberg don’t do Kronenbourg. But if they did, they’d probably be the best beer in the world.

I used to have a vintage copy of UB40’s “Red Red Wine”, on Vinyl. But then I spilt white wine on it and it disappeared

BBC News: On average, 2 rhinos are poached a day. Personally I like mine scrambled.

Race car designers are a boring bunch. I met a group of them at the pub and it was nothing but torque, torque, torque.

I’ve just had an Irish coffee. Tea.

Cheese- milk’s leap towards immortality.

Saw a Poster in the supermarket today which read, Coco Pops No added colours Oh, so JLS aren’t getting a new member?

I saw a Guinness brought to life on TV earlier. Turns out it was Trevor McDonald.

I walked into McDonald’s today and asked for a Chicken Legend. The cashier winked informatively and said “Did you know…that if you cut the head off a chicken…it’ll keep running?”

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet spaghetti?

I’ve just chucked out my flatmate for continually stealing my hot chocolate drinks. He left me with very little Options.