Category: food and drink

I’d heard that the steak served at Stringfellows is the best you can get, so I decided to try one. What arrived at my table was gristly, oily and tasteless. I said “Hi Peter. Where’s my steak?”

Apparently McDonalds won’t be serving any Under 18’s due to worsening obesity problems. In other news, KFC have banned black people from entering their outlets.

My friends have told me that they’ll stop talking to me unless I stop telling the “Carlsberg don’t do…” jokes from sickipedia. I guess you know who your mates are.

What’s the difference between brussel sprouts and snot? You’ll never surprise your kids eating their brussel sprouts.

I love how we confuse foreigners by calling so many of our foods puddings. Yorkshire pudding, Christmas pudding, black pudding. They can’t tell if they’re biting into a delicious sweet dessert, or a lump of congealed animal blood.

Give a man a fish and he will feed himself for a day. Teach him to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

I get so turned on watching my wife make cheese on toast. I love a bit of girl on grill action.

My wife finds it offensive when I use the word ‘puke’, so why does she keep asking me what her cooking tastes like?

Korea – The only place you can do a chicken doggy style

I was eating my tea last night when I suddenly thought to myself, “This milk must be seriously out of date.”

You know it’s gonna be a bad day when your Rice Krispies won’t even talk to you.

My fruit flavoured dairy beverage attracts all the males to the garden and they exclaim that the fruit flavoured beverages i procure are far superior to ones they have sampled elsewhere, i would show you the method to make such a fruit flavoured beverage but unfortunately i would have to levy a fee in order […]

Subway employees are just filling a role

Frozen Apples. They’re Hardcore.

When I was younger, I use to spit, but now I swallow. It’s funny how you get used to Brussel Sprouts