Category: food and drink

I went into KFC and asked for something cheap. “You’re slightly overweight” said the man behind the counter

I just read the story about the Chinese executing an indian man by lethal injection. It got me thinking….. I really fancy a takeaway tonight.

i always tell my friends i like my woman like i like my cheese… they say “what, mature and strong” they dont know i like babybels

How many men does it take to make a bacon sandwich? Trick question, thats a womans job.

‘F’ to tha ‘A’ to tha ‘J’ to tha ‘I’ to tha ‘T’ ‘A’ That’s the Fajita Rap.

McDonald’s drive through. Because eating your burger in the drivers seat of your car, sat in a bleak, uninspiring industrial car park is still infinitely preferable than having to be near the kind of person who sits down in the restaurant.

Did you hear about the deformed slice of ham? It was in bread.

At last! I can get a kebab and not feel guilty when I refuse when I’m asked if I want salad with it!

Africa, the only place in the world where you get a pint of flies and your beer lands in it

What’s the difference between Yann Kermorgant and McCain? McCain can make decent chips.

Fred was drinking at a bar and the bartender came over to tell him he had a telephone call. Fred had just bought another beer and he didn’t want anyone to drink it. So, Fred wrote a little sign and left it by his beer that said: “I spit in my beer.” When Fred returned […]

I’ve just bought some Chicken Tonight, but I’m going to eat it tomorrow. Fight the Power!

I’ve been preparing for this date for hours- dressing in my smartest clothes, combing my hair… I don’t know why I’ve made it such a big deal really, It’s just a fruit.

I’ve just been thrown out of University for smoking weed. Think I misunderstood what a joint honors degree actually is.

I was really hungry earlier, I looked up and down the house for something to eat. I eventually found a chocolate teapot. That was useful.