Category: food and drink

“I do love a nice condiment,” I said with relish.

I think McDonalds are running out of ideas. I just ordered a Happy Meal and got a bag of anti-depressants.

I took this girl to a fancy restaurant and tried to impress her by ordering in Italian. It was awkward. Apparently there’s no Italian word for Lamb Biryani.

I love fresh Louisiana oyster, crab & shrimp lightly drizzled with oil. Drenching it with 5000 barrels a day is a bit too much though

I picked up a free-range chicken from the supermarket yesterday. I managed to stun it with a tin of beans in the pet food aisle.

I’ve just bought a flat that overlooks a frozen food factory. I’ve got a Birds eye view of it.

Hear about the new fast-food restaurant that has opened in Bradford? It’s called Burka King.

“Your cooking is truly dreadful. That was the worst meal I’ve ever eaten in my life.” “HOW DARE YOU!!? What gives you the right to speak to me like that!?” “Well, for a start, you’ve just managed to kill my tapeworm.”

I went into my local and ordered a bottle of Taliban. I meant to say Kaliber but always get those two mixed up – strictly no alcohol and they blow you up.

A famous American proverb states; ‘Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get’ I’d have thought even the dumbest American could work out what they might get inside a box of CHOCOLATES

I like to break the rules, I’m the sort of guy who snaps his Kit-Kat in half horizontally rather than vertically.

I had a Wimpey breakfast this morning. A yoghurt and a rivita.

The poster at Subway said ”Eat Fresh” so i did, i went elsewhere.

If there really were a food court, Taco Bell would almost certainly be found guilty.

Lidl Under Fire For Selling Reindeer Steak Aldi quietly remove their elf chops and Santa sausage from the shelves