Category: food and drink

After a hearty meal I still had half a sandwich left on my plate, “Do you want a box for that?” the waitress asked.. “No”, I replied, “but I’ll wrestle you for a cup of coffee.”

I had the blackest coffee last night before going to bed. Robbed me of about 8 hours sleep. Typical, eh?

Last night, my wife said we should introduce food into our love making. She didn’t see the funny side when I said I’ll bring the crabs.

Where do Americans go for seconds of curry? Baltimore.

Q: What do you call two Muslim women with slices of cheddar on their heads? A: Double Cheese Burkha. Q: What do you call two smelly Muslim women with slices of cheddar on thier heads? A Double Cheese Burkha with Flies.

a menu or as i like to call it a woman’s c.v

To all the fat ladies out there, remember, stressed is desserts spelt backwards.

Life is like a box of chocolates; my wife gets really annoyed when I try to finish hers.

What do you call a disabled sausage? A cripolata.

Why are people so bothered about genetically modified foods? I mean just last week me and the family sat down to a delicious plate of beef wings.

A single punch can kill. If you lace it with enough antifreeze.

Bought an ice-cream from an Australian earlier. I had a 66.

Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

What Is The Diffrence Between A Muslim And A Kebab… I Like Kebabs.

It makes sense that non-alcoholic drinks are called virgins, because I stopped being one as soon as I started getting alcohol in me too.