Category: family

My stepson has thrown a tantrum and accused me of favouritism towards my own daughter, Chloe. I’d send him to his room in the outhouse if it hadn’t already been converted into a stable for Chloe’s new pony.

My wife couldn’t breast feed when she gave birth to our daughter, so I let her suckle off our labrador which had just had a litter of pups. Now here we are sixteen years later and there’s nothing wrong with her….. though in all honesty she is a bit of a dog …

Talking to my unsupportive dad the other day, he said “Do you know what the best thing about being your father is?” and with high hopes of geting praise for the first time i excitedly said “what dad?” “going to work” he replied

As a young boy, fast, jerking hand movements have helped improve my life a lot. For example the time I deflected the sauce pan thrown at me by my father.

The night before last the wife fell asleep in the bath and left the hot water running. It’s a good job she had her mouth open or else the tub would have overflowed.

My wife and her sister are twins and look alike in almost every way. Her sister lives with us. One time I came home from work to find her in the shower so I got undressed got into the shower with her, started touching her and said, “How about some quiet one-on-one time without your […]

I won an award for laziness last week. My mother picked it up on my behalf.

The wife got dressed up for trick or treating last night, she looked better than she has for a long time.

When my older brother and I were little we were always playing Robin Hood. Only thing was, he was always Robin Hood and I had to be Little John. After a while I got sick of this and told him I wasn’t playing any more. “Ok” he said. “We’ll play a different game and you […]

I was talking man to man with my 18 year old son when I said, “You’ll have kids of your own one day.” He replied, “So will you, dad.”

It’s my birthday today and as I sat with my dad I said, ” So then. About nine months and forty three years ago you were giving mum one eh!” He said, ” Aye, and if I knew it would be the only time in forty three years I would’ve enjoyed it a bit more.” […]

I got a phone call from the hospital today. “Dad, you better come down here quick,” my son cried. “Mum’s going to die.” “Oh no,” I panicked. “Who’s going to look after you?”

I always hate the risk of coming on to one of your best friends. You never know if it’s going to work out or just end up awkward between you and inevitably ruin the friendship. That’s why it’s such a special moment when they tell you you’re like a brother to them, because then you […]

My hubby always rolls his sleeves up and gets stuck in ……. I love being fisted

My wife accuses me of being petty and childish. I said to her, “Your MUM is petty and childish.”