Category: exercise

You know your fit when you run 20 miles and your nipples hurt more than your legs…

I love watching fat people run. All 2 seconds of it.

Sometimes when I see people jogging outside, I like to drive slowly down the road behind them blasting “Eye of the Tiger” just to give them some motivation.

Man found dead; Killed by weight he was attempting to lift. On the upside, no need for the family to go elsewhere for a memorial bench.

My wife bought me an exercise bike for Christmas. I used it for a bit but have stopped now as it wasn’t getting me anywhere.

Americans claim to get plenty of exercise, despite the fact that most of them are vastly overweight. Not surprising, though, if your definition of exercise is ‘anything that makes you sweat’ and includes waddling from the car park to McDonald’s.

My local gym make it extremely difficult for newcomers to join. They’re on the 27th floor with no lift.

Every morning I have a 2 mile run before breakfast. I keep forgetting to buy milk.

Every time I take up exercising I meet new people. They are usually paramedics, but still new people.

I pulled a muscle in my neck today and I’m not sure how, i just can’t get my head round it.

My ex-girlfriend and I met each other while running the London Marathon last year. It was a long-distance relationship.

I did double my morning exercise this morning… Must stop forgetting things upstairs.

Thanks to Nell McAndrew’s fitness DVD I now have a perfectly toned right wrist.

I went for a run this morning. Not for exercise, my girlfriend’s husband just got back early.

I got off with a fat girl at a party, my ego was crushed.