Category: diets

These last few weeks, I’ve been eating healthily and getting a lot of exercise, so I’m going to need some serious retoxing.

I don’t know why girls are so touchy about saying how much they weigh, it’s not going to stop people seeing how fat they are.

I’ve been doing really well on my diet recently, but the other day I ate a 50p coin. People keep saying to me “You look like you’ve put on half a pound…”

I’ve just started at slimming world and it’s brilliant, you’re allowed 15 sins a day. I’ve been doing gluttony and sloth today.

“So what do you do?” My new roommate asked me. “I work with people who have let themselves go in life and to help them find their feet again.” I said proudly. “Oh, wow!” Said my new roommate. “That must be very rewarding work.” I shrugged. “Just an ordinary day at Weight Watchers.”

My mate bet me a tenner I couldn’t come up with a good Vegetarian joke… I had a few, but gave him the money there and then. They were all to Quorny…

My psychic girlfriend was a size 20 and sad. But now she has lost weight to a size 12 and is a happy medium.

Started my diet this morning. Already lost 2 pounds. The coin fell down the side of the car seat and my hands are too fat to squeeze down there.

I went on a diet recently, came off drinking and heavy eating. In fourteen days I’ve lost exactly two weeks.

An American father says to his son, “And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?” Son replies, “Diet.”

Can someone please tell fat women that skin tight jeans are a fashion statement not a challenge

i got kicked out of fat fighters today. apparently its not the British equivalent to sumo wrestling!

Dieting sucks A waist is a terrible thing to mind