Category: computers/technology

My kids always say that I’m out of date with technology, so I popped down to Carphone Warehouse….. I wish I hadn’t bothered, they didn’t have a single car phone in stock.

People who plug their computer keyboards into hi-fi systems aren’t idiots. That would be stereotyping.

What scares old people as it approaches? The Digital Switchover.

According to those in the know, the new iPhone’s camera is so snazzy, it actually filters out poor people …

I’m still a virgin by choice, so I can play World of Warcraft.

I just sent my Gran a dirty joke. “PMS!” she replied “Don’t you mean PMSL Nan?” i asked…. “No, it’s the incontinence kicking in again!”

Want to plan your route through a forest infested with poisenous bees, whilst half naked and having to carry the stripper you got knocked up the night before because you’re trying to escape from the man-eating beaver humming the pink panther theme tune? There’s an App for that.

I can’t see an end. I have no control and I don’t think there’s any escape – I don’t even have a home anymore. Definitely time for a new keyboard.

So I was in my bedroom using my laptop and I thought “How about I resell my previous product with a different name?” I’m a PC and Windows 7 was my idea…

On a scale of 1 to 10…. … How much binary do you use?

“Microsoft launch Windows 7 mobile” I’m glad that wasn’t my idea.

“Computer says Nooo” Unless you have windows Vista, in which case it says “Not responding”

I bought a smart phone the other day. It was wearing a tuxedo and a bow tie.

The other day I was at my PC and I had a brain wave. So I emailed Microsoft, and the new Windows 7 now has a spell checker. Im Gordon Brown, and Windows 7 Was my idea.

You’d think that by now, with all the recent advances in technology, someone would have come up with some really good fake Loch Ness Monster evidence.