Category: communication

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Bluetooth. Allowing dads to craftily send naked pictures of their son’s girlfriends to their own phones since 1994.

Blackberry helping teenagers to commit suicide since monday.

Who else joins the ‘Lost my phone, numbers please…’ Facebook groups, just to rob the numbers of people you’d never normally get them off

O2 is the most unselfish lover ever. Its just gone down on the whole country.

My inability to use emoticons correctly is really getting me down 🙂

My wife said ” We don’t seem to understand each other these days. Why can’t we just get along?” “A long what?” I asked.

It’s got to the point where i wear my headset whilst playing my Xbox even when i have no friends online. Just so i don’t have to talk to my wife.

I felt really awkward today when i rang a slag and it said “…….welcome to the virgin voice mail”

I called the tax office earlier and the guy told me to hold the line for a few minutes. When he finally came back to the phone, I had to congratulate him. Hats off to the lad, he could play piano like Mozart.

Anyone else get seriously excited when they receive their first text message for about a month, then rapidly that excitement goes when they find out it’s from Orange.

Dear, Chicken. I have no idea why everyone wants to know why you crossed the road, I’m not impressed. Sincerely, The cow that jumped over the moon.

I recently won the award for funniest Sickipedian. When the trophy was presented to me, I spotted my African girlfriend in the audience. She was on her feet cheering. Afterwards i sent her a text saying ‘thanks for the cheer’ using predictive texting, …BIG mistake

My wife was on the phone sorting out our insurance. “And your postcode?”, asked the operator. “TW7 5HQ”, my wife replied. “That’s T for train, W for woman, H for house and Q for Cuba.” I swear to God I could’ve slapped her!

A quick way to start a conversation is to say something like, ‘What’s your favorite colour?’ A quick way to end a conversation is to say something like, ‘What’s your favorite colour person?’