Category: communication

Girlfriend: Their you go again! Me: *There. Girlfriend: And another thing; you always have to be so… pedanty. Me: *Pedantic.

The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.

Imagine God’s face when he checked his inbox…

Historians have discovered that human rights activist Malcolm X was actually just called Malcolm, but he was rather affectionate at the end of his text messages.

“NO JOKE, YOU HAVE WON AN IPHONE” Pretty ironic considering this is a joke site.

Sky called me today and asked for some customer feedback… …so I squealed down the phone at them.

I asked my wife where was my dinner….. She went on a right one, screaming that if I gave her a hand it would be done quicker… so I gave her a hand……… a right one…….. I’m still waiting for my dinner and she seems to be having a kip on the kitchen floor. On […]

A lot of people seem to forget their other four fingers when waving to me.

I saw the results of a phone-in poll this morning: Do you think computer games make children more violent? 62% of people said no, 23% said yes, and 15% said don’t know. It’s not the poll that alarms me, it’s the fact that 15% of people rang up to say that they didn’t know!

As a student nurse I had little money for meals so I ate the awful food provided at the hospital canteen.I often took my break in the ward kitchen and sometimes kindly visitors would hand in treats they had brought for patients who had not wanted to eat them.One night a woman brought a pie […]

When I go to delete an app on my Iphone and they’re shaking, it always makes me feel guilty, its almost like they’re all anxious about who’s getting axed.

I just rang the halifax bank and got a message saying that due to adverse weather conditions they are short on staff and it may take longer than normal to answer my call. I didn’t even know it could snow in India?

I asked Siri to call me an ambulance since I was experiencing chest pains. It responded by telling me it would call me ‘an ambulance’ from now on.

I hate when your insulting someone over text and predictive makes it come out wrong. You always end up looking like a right count.