Category: children

Toyota Auris Hybrid, it delivers smooth performance as well as ultra quiet electric driving. So the children cant hear you coming

Just saw a headline: Beat the child benefit cuts and i wondered to myself, what has the benefit cuts got to do with anything?

I was shocked when I received the phone call…During ‘Show and Tell’ at school my daughter had revealed bruises all up her arms. Thought I’d made it very clear daddy would hurt mummy if she ever told anyone.

After a long and costly legal battle, I found out you’re unlikely to be granted custody if they’re not your children to begin with.

My kid came home and cried, “Dad! The kids at school told me I have a face only a parent could love!” I replied, “That’s nonsense, dear. I hate your face too.”

Since Sickipedia is now been over run by kids, can I be the first to say, Do any of you want to see my puppies?

I’ve been teaching my little girl to ride a bike, Today I took the stabilisers off. She sped along the pavement, clipped the neighbours car, went straight through our hedge and hit the garage door. I thought it was a disaster but the wife called it a successful parking manoeuvre.

I felt like a fool when I bought Amy Winehouse tickets for my daughter and then remembered that she died last year. Even more so when I remembered that Amy Winehouse died too.

When I was younger my mom always used to tell me that rain drops were the tears of god, you could imagine the look on her face when I asked her what snow was.

If sperm’s really good for the skin, why has my daughter still got eczema?

Just been down the beach helping my daughter catch crabs. Do the GUM clinics treat kids too?

I had a few games of rock, paper, scissors with son today. He’s so easy to beat… I banned him from playing with sharp objects.

I always hear that children are dressing inappropriately these days but my neighbour’s kid is still dressing perfectly, With the curtains open.

The Slinky: Crushing the happiness of children living in bungalows since 1945.

I’m not saying your child is ugly… I’m just saying you will never have to worry about paedophiles.