Category: children

Interesting that, for a company like Nike, who are constantly battling legal issues regarding child labour… Their slogan would remain Just Do It.

I would like to put forward my nomination for the “Protester Of The Year Award”… Every weekday morning and afternoon without fail there is a man who stands outside our local school protesting. He dresses himself all in yellow and he holds a small round placard that simply reads “Stop Children” That to me is […]

Western consumerism is out of control. The kids don’t even accept Haribo anymore. They demand Ferrero Rocher.

I was trying everything last night to get the baby to sleep. Finally after 5 bottles he went down. He’s going to have a right hangover when he gets up.

I gave my son a quid for eating a hot chili. This is good parenting because he needs to learn to stop doing stupid things for just 1.

A little boy comes running into the house and says, “Mummy, can little girls have babies?” His mum replies, “No, of course not.” The little boy runs back outside and yells, “It’s okay, we can play that game again!”

If you can’t beat them… then what’s the point in having kids?

My young son loves nothing more than sitting for hours cutting things up. I think he’s going to be a bus driver when he grows up.

In the eyes of the lord i’m sure these trigonometry jokes are a sin.

I desperately wanted to buy my sweet daughter a pair of prosthetic leg blades for Christmas. They are just a revolutionary invention, and really help amputees have mobility. She would just love me with all her heart and it would be such a special gift for my beautiful battling girl. Anyway, I don’t want to […]

A cloned cow has been put on the market and is ready to be eaten. This could be harmful. Lives are at steak.

I dropped my kids of at their babysitters yesterday before I went to work and she asked me, “When do you want them back.” I replied, “When they’re earning.”

– Who do you want to be when you grow up? – Pizza delivery man… plumber… gardener… – DARLING, HE JUST FOUND THE DVD!

My son said “Dad, Can we play cowboys in the garden?” I said “Of course we can” “You haven’t seen Brokeback Mountain have you son?” I added, As I got out my rusty sheriff’s badge.

I was invited round by my long term girlfriend to meet her parents. All was going well, they seemed to like me, then they asked the killer question “Are you planning on having kids.” I replied “Dont be silly you can’t have children the way we do it” I am now single.