Category: children

I had an unbelievable stroke of luck last night. But why would anyone name their kid ‘luck’?

I complained to my newsagent that my paperboy is coming earlier every morning. He’s promised me my next one will have more stamina.

NHS doctors suggest foster children get more psychiatric drugs. Though none strong enough to conjure up images of parents not abandoning them.

So remember kids, when the looting begins, always consider the weight/value ratio.

When my boss asked me why I was leaving so early, “I’m going to pick the kids up before their parents get there,” was not the answer I should have given.

i was relieving stress by taking down some targets at the firing range…. …..when suddenly the swat team broke down the front door of the school .

My 3 year old daughter is like a slinky, Of no real use but fun to watch falling downstairs.

Little Johnny : “Where’s my Fork and Knife?”. Mum : “Beside your Fork and Plate, and stop swearing”

I was carrying bags of shopping home with the kids today, then I dropped one. Luckily the shopping is alright, but my son has got a fractured arm.

I am just about to buy my girlfriend a valentines present online & to be honest I need a bit of help. Am I right in thinking that a size 8 would fit a big 6 year old?

What’s the best present to get a dying child? A dying puppy.

Having a father who was a Doctor and a mother who was a Nurse had its down side. When I was six I had to leave home because they needed the bed.

It is believed that in last decade, more than 2 million children have died as a direct result of armed conflict. Which proves that war isn’t entirely pointless.

What is the difference between snot and spinach? You can’t get your kids to eat spinach.

i was playing with my son earlier…………when i thought ‘i wonder if this is going to cause him any emotional insecurities later on in life’