Category: children

‘Boy of four dies in tumble dryer during a game of hide and seek’ Police say his last words were, “I’m getting warmer.”

After being told I can’t discipline my kids, Social Services have now gone one step further, and decided to take full custody of them. Apparently, after already having had a previous warning, glueing them together in my garden shed, is just a step too far this time. I’m just so confused. What happened to if […]

Apparently, when your teenage child appears from their room after many hours perfecting their “look”, you are not supposed to laugh.

I’m pretty ashamed about sleeping with the examiner to get a good mark…but I really wanted top marks in my KS1 SATS.

Was sat in my briefs watching He-man and Skeletor fight with each other when my brother walked in and said, “Double or quits, If I win their names go back to Susan and Jennifer.”

Today I am going to be a dad for the first time. Neglecting my kids for the last 12 years is probably long enough.

The chicken crossed the road, knowing this day would be remembered for many years to come

There is no denying that society is getting increasingly violent, but too many parents are wrapping their children in cotton wool. I still prefer wrapping them in clingfilm because you can cut little access holes with a penknife.

A child is forever, not just a council house.

I’ve got two sons, 6 and 11. Funny names really but I like them.

A little boy walks into his kitchen and says, “Dad, there’s a man knocking on the door with a beard.” His dad replies, “Oh, no wonder I didn’t hear him!”

I just saw a 12 year old boy walk into a pub with a rolled up newspaper. As he didn’t have his parent with him, I presume that was his Guardian.

the new benefits advert; it’s not if we catch you its when this makes me think Madeleine McCann should start stealing benefits

I tagged Waldo with a GPS device. No more questions.

A man arrives home from work and finds his wife stressed because the kids had been running wild all day. She asks if he would take them out for a pizza. He told the kids to go into the garage. He followed them. A few moments later the wife hears two loud bangs. The guy […]