Category: children

Little Susie was highly disappointed when she discovered the blue waffle that her dad gave her for breakfast wasn’t the confectionery delight she was hoping for…

What is it with women and their morals nowadays? “I’m not like that!” “You’re too drunk!” “Stop! I have a boyfriend!” “Dad, I’ll tell Mum!”

Child lock’s a great thing to use. As you get your car crushed…

Kids. If you can’t beat them, don’t have them.

I don’t know why parents say to their children, “Only speak when you’re spoken to.” It’s not exactly teaching them good manners, telling them to talk over the top of someone.

Beckham gets a lifetime achievement award… That’s a bit like Fritzel getting voted father of the year.

I am getting pretty nervous lately. My little 2 year old nephew is starting to learn how to talk.

My young daughter was burning up today so I rang NHS Direct, “how hot is she?” they inquired. “about 8/10…” didn’t seem to go down that well..

“My wife’s off her nut. She keeps complaining that I don’t care enough about the kids.” “How many have you got then?” “Three, maybe four …”

you know your ginger when even your imaginary friends dont want to play with you.

My little cousin still goes to the pre-school When the teacher asked her “You have 5 apples, you give half to John, how many have you got left?” She confidently replied “Four and a half”

Grr I get more pop-ups then gary glitter at a daycare centre

Kids may be expensive but i suppose you never know when you gonna need a kidney.

The other day I came home from work and my girlfriend was waiting for me in the kitchen. She told me that she felt she was ready to take the next step in our relationship. “Twins?” I asked with high hopes. She nodded in reply. “Great!” I said, “I know an Asian pair who will […]

My young daughter asked me this morning, “Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night? I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream.” “Nothing, darling,” I replied. It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half-shaved head.