Category: childish

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either

I love visiting my nan for the day. Just before the drive home she’ll say,”come on…up the wooden hill”, and we’ll go upstairs and she helps me into my my Jim Jams before getting into the car. That way, I can go straight to bed as soon as we get home. For some reason my […]

The government’s committee for dealing with emergency events is called “COBRA”. With a name like that, I bet they meet up in a treehouse, have a ‘No girls allowed’ rule, and give each other codenames like “Nighthawk” and “Big Dog”.

Just had a 9 to 5 shift at childline it was the hardest 8 hours of my life.

I had to leave the army because my childish commanding officers kept getting me in trouble. Major Look and Major Stare.

If you ever want a bit of a laugh then tell a bunch of builders that there is a group of students going around dressed as coppers and winding everybody up. Then ring the police and tell them there are a group of students dressed up as builders vandalising your street. Sit back and enjoy.

Mum: What are you gonna gift grandma for her birthday? Boy: Football Mum: But your grandma doesn’t play football! Boy: On my birthday she gave me books.

I don’t like cheesy jokes… They aren’t mature enough.

The missus puts a smile on my face every morning. … But it’s nowhere near as neat as the specs and tash I put on her while SHE’S asleep! Biro’s ROCK!!!

why couldn’t the pirates play cards? the captain was standing on the deck

I’ve just bought a fairtrade chocolate bar from my local shop. You can almost taste the happy Africans

My mate has an obsession of every time he ties his laces he then had to arrange the laces to look like the letter Y or he can’t leave the house. I said to him “why do you always have to do that ” “Y knot”

What’s yellow and cant swim? A Bulldozer.

The wife was having a go at me. “Life’s just one big joke to you, isn’t it.” “I don’t know what you mean. Sit down, luv, and let’s talk about it.” That’s when I pulled her chair away.

my friend told me i was childish and imature the other day but then so is his mum!