Category: childish

I’m the kind of guy who laughs in the face of adversity. Mostly other people’s.

I decided it was time to tell my 8 year old son he’s adopted. The wife didn’t approve, but I can’t resist a good prank.

After watching the news coverage from the murder scene of Ashleigh Hall, it`s no wonder the guy who killed her got caught so quickly! I mean, why hide the body in a tent?

My girlfriend accused me of being childish and argumentative. I said, ‘No I’m not, you are.’ Shut her up.

My friend recently sent me a ‘chain letter’ so I decided to show you all our email conversation – “if u dnt snd this chain 2 10 people in the next hour u will see a dead gurl in ur bedroom tonight’ “Oh great! She’ll fit in nicely with the other two there!”

My 10 year old son came up to me today and asked ” daddy i hate it when I go to the toilet and my willie dangles in the water at the botom” man I need a DNA test .

I don’t think it’s fair for my wife to call me immature. Fair enough, I did purposely buy the same telly as my neighbours so I could stand outside their house and change their channels with my remote, but who doesn’t?

Why didn’t the chicken cross the road? Because it was chicken

My wife keeps telling me to grow up. Well this shall stop from tomorrow morning, when my power ranger stilts arrive in the post.

World Book Day next week and you’re supposed to dress up as someone from a book. I’m dressing up as myself, from Facebook.

I just saw a bird versus squirrel fight. A car won.

I like to stand near ATMs. When somebody types in their pin number I shout, “Got it!” and then I run away.

Just had a row with my son over Peter Pan. It’s about time he grew up.

My mate told me I was really slow yesterday when we were in the pub. I quickly came back with “Your mum’s really slow.” Unfortunately he couldn’t hear it as he had left hours ago.

This bird was flirting with me in the pub. “I wear a DD bra,” she whispered. “That’s OK,” I said. “I wear Tum-Tiddly-Um underpants”.