Category: childish

I was telling some sheep jokes the other day. But none of them laughed and one just ran away going “baa.”

I’m currently spying on my neighbour on my bike, thinking, That’s my bike

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our relationship, during which I took the time to make a napkin monster and attack her with it. I think it went really well.

My mate called me childish the other day, so to prove him wrong I made him eat his own words, By spelling them out in alphabetti spaghetti

It’s my girlfriends birthday in a couple of weeks, I really don’t know what to get her. We’ve been together for nearly 8 years. I just don’t really know what 8 year olds like.

Finally. . . I’ve been staring at those After Eights all day.

I have fancied this girl at work for some time but never really spoke to her too much, finally I plucked up the courage to ask her out for a drink and she said to me “I like a gentleman with a sophisticated sense of humour, I have a boyfriend already and he is much […]

And there we were, 2 against 2000… boy did we slaughter those 2.

I’ve just treated myself to a new ringtone. It didn’t half tickle using that spray tan machine.

My wife said to me “I’m leaving you, you’re the laziest man I’ve ever met. I’ll be back tomorrow to collect my stuff” “Please don’t babe” I begged “Come back Monday instead. It’s your turn to take out the bins.”

Me and my girlfriend were arguing the other night, and to cut a long story short, I was told that I’m ‘too childish’ for her and that maybe I should sleep on the sofa. The next morning, she came downstairs all apologetic. However, I chose to ignore her in the fort I had created.

Telling a woman you work in IT Support can be such a turn off. And then a turn on again.

I’m the type of guy that likes to hold a plastic gun to an ATM when i draw out cash.

Critics said my career as a comedian was over. “That’s just your oPUNion”, I quipped. They were right.

My wife said to me, “I can’t stand being around an immature little man anymore. Put yourself in my shoes.” I said,”No thanks, I’m not your size.”