Category: charity

I’m going to sit in a bath of baked beans on Red Nose Day. Not for money. Just a show of contempt at the starving.

I swear, on an African kids life, that I wont be giving any money to Comic Relief.

After watching Comic Relief and seeing all the poverty it’s made me realise how lucky I am. I got my 32 inch HD TV half price on the last day of the sale, it’s like the flies are actually in the room.

Is it just me, or do you think that some of the Comic Relief money sent to Africa, should be spent on condoms and the morning after pill?

The tagline to the charity Save The Children is “No child born to die.” Well, technically…

I had to keep restarting my TV during comic relief. Everytime they showed a film my TV went black!

I wanted to do something really original for Sport Relief, but just ended up doing something that’s been done a million times before. I changed channel.

The BBC are going to have a new fund raising event next year for people who have lost limbs. It’s called “hand relief”.

I think I’m being scammed. I give five pounds a month to a charity. They’re committed to beating heart disease. All the diseases I can think of make it stop.

One of those clips of ill african children just came on Comin Relief. My wife thought i was being all sensative when I reached for a box of tissues. Well she couldn’t of been more wrong.

Some people in Africa walk eight miles every day, just to get away from Lenny Henry.

My wife was disappointed when she saw my efforts for Comic Relief, Masturbating over Hentai.

I’ve just got a charity appeal letter from the NSPCC. For 2.00 a week, I can help STOP Julie doing things she doesn’t understand. I’ve also got one from the Mong Society where for 2.00 a week I can help Susie DO things she doesn’t understand. Why don’t they just swap homes?

I’ve been sponsoring a child in Africa for about 8 months now and i’m starting to get really annoyed. I mean, in all the photos i’ve been sent of little Keto, I haven’t once seen my name on the front of his shirt.

After the success of the “Help our heroes” charity campaign,I would like to ask for donations of kids underwear,books,toys even sweets for my “Help our paedos” campaign.