Category: charity

I’ve just done my bit for water aids “Big dig” appeal. I punched my wife in the face.

I love having Sky+. It means I can simply fast forward through all the annoying charity appeals.

My mate was raising money for charity and told me he’d entered me in the 1500m. I nearly ran a mile.

I’ve just seen Susan Boyle singing on “Sport Relief”. Singing isn’t very sporty is it? Surely more people would pay up to see her try the Hurdles or something?

I’ve just seen 4 poor black kids who look like they need a real good feeding, like the ones on the advert for Children in Need, Poor kids… Oh wait, it’s JLS.

I won’t be donating cash to charity again. It’s all a con. I’ve just come back from a trip to Africa and the houses and schools are all made out of giant cheques.

My wife just posted on Facebook “The Pride of Britain Awards are on TV tonight, better get the tissues ready” i’m sure i’m not the only one who thought…….what time’s Hannah Montana on then?

Comic Relief – Even all the way from Africa they find a way to mug you

A woman knocked at my door today asking if I’d be willing to give just 2 pounds to a 6 year old african orphan. I said I’m no ogre love, If he works hard enough he can have a fiver.

My wife just had a call from a Charity asking her to donate some of her clothes to some of the starving people in the world. She asked “How will giving somebody clothes stop them being hungry?” Apparently they’re short of tents as well.

The benefits of Red Nose Day are already showing, 20,000 Ghanaians were seen on a trip to Wembley.

I’m watching ‘Children in Need’ and I’m wondering where all the British children are. All I can see is Pakis and Blacks. That lot are just Children in need of a good Tsunami.

I just saw a charity advert asking for money to help dig a well in Africa, I can’t understand why they can’t already do it themselves? I saw 6 spades in the picture alone.

It’s amazing how many new words you learn every day. I heard one today. Chuggers: charity-muggers. The people in the street who try and steal your credit card details on behalf of disabled kids in Africa. Well I made up a word of my own today. Chunts.

Save on the cost of a Comic Relief red nose by using the same one from last year.