Category: charity

Top Tip for anyone annoyed with the quality of their Refuse Collection Services. There is a new one in my area. They place white bin bags through your front door; you fill them with household waste, leave them outside your house and they collect them. The only downside is that they insist on putting disgusting […]

Wonder if Madonna has placed her order yet on children in need

I am ashamed to say that whilst watching Comic Relief last night, I found myself compelled to switch channels every time the side splitting humour was interrupted by the desperate black man trying to eke out a meagre existence. Lenny Henry, give it a rest next year.

I think my mate is racist. I asked him to record Sport Relief last night and I told him not to bother with any of the boring bits but just the funny stuff. I’ve just watched two hours of dying Africans.

Thought I’d give donating sperm ago the other day. It turns out Oxfam arent as grateful for your help as they like to make out.

Haha, one of my colleagues has just come to work dressed as a woman for Children In Need. Congratulations, that was a very brave thing to do, Karen.

Children In Need gets me every year. When I see those poor, penniless black kids, I understand why they went out looting in Tottenham.

Why was Miranda Hart on Comic Relief? The unfunny bits are supposed to have African children in them.

What bounces and makes kids cry? My donation cheque to Children in Need.

Childline should be renamed… I tried to order a few for weekend but they said they were going to contact the police?

For just 10 a month, You can reduce your annual salary by 120.

If we donate this money, we’re not going to get these vuvuzelas again, are we?

“If we don’t receive 30million in donations over the phone by 2am then kids all over the world will suffer.” No, not Children in Need, I’ve rounded up a few friends over the internet and we’ve begun taking hostages.

I don’t know if i’ll be tuning into comic relief tonight. I watched it last year and thought those comedy sketches of Africa were a little in bad taste.

I was watching comic relief last night and they said “no one in africa has a decent job” but surely if a child dies every 15 seconds, undertakers must be rolling in it?