Category: charity

An advert told me that some children have to walk in excess of 30 miles a day just to get clean water. The man at the end of the advert said that I could sponsor a child like Amita. So I did. I’m giving her 30p a mile.

Whenever charity collectors knock on my door I just can’t say no… That’s why I slam the door in their face.

A charity worker stopped me in the street and said that some 8 year old gets paid 10 a month to make my shoes. couldn’t help but think those kids have some skills …..i couldn’t even spell my name at 8 years old.

Have you heard the latest Red Nose Day slogan? Do something funny for money I love charity, so i robbed a midget and pushed him down the stairs

I saw a soldier, with an arm missing, collecting for the “Help The Hero’s” charity today. I just stood in front of him and applauded loudly, not because he’s brave or that he is collecting for a good cause, just to make him jealous.

Apparently just two pounds a week will help support Nagic and his little brother. Why can’t Christian Aid run the CSA?

There are too many people in Africa and not enough food. Bring back that fine African tradition of cannibalism, and before you can say “Comic Relief”, the problem’s solved.

I saw a Charity Collector in town today with a hunched back. Her coat had “Aspinall Foundation” on it. Seemed quite appropriate, really.

I’ve been doing a lot of overtime lately, earning plenty of extra cash, so last night, after seeing an advert with those starving African children with their bones sticking out & all the flies around their eyes, I thought I’d do the right thing I sponsored a snow leopard

Chatroulette wants to eliminate nudity. The two remaining users will have a great conversation.

Whilst watching the pictures of the starving African kids on Sport Relief the other night, I was choked. No not emotionally, I was halfway through the contents of a KFC bargain bucket, when a chicken bone got stuck.

When my wife asked me to sponsor her in aid of breast cancer for sport relief, I ran a mile.

Charity mugger: How about ten pounds a month for cancer? Me: Tell you what love, for fifty, I’ll give you gonorrhoea

“Comic Relief Does Glee Club” – With a machete I hope.

Comic Relief-Do Something Funny For Money. I pushed a paki in front of a bus then nicked his wallet.