Category: cannibals

I find it hard to eat my five vegetables a day. Mongs are so hard to find these days.

I was always told to eat my vegetables. I still can’t get my wife’s screams out of my head as I tucked into our paraplegic son, Johnny.

I wonder if cannibals are advised to try and eat five swedes a day?

I’m personally neither for nor against abortion. But if one ever got offered to me on a plate I wouldn’t turn it down.

I believe it’s the child inside me which makes me a cannibal.

My wifes been cooking for over an hour and still isn’t done. I need to take her out and check the stove.

A girl came up to me last night and said with a smile, “My mate wants a piece of you.” It wasn’t the best thing to hear at a cannibal party.

I just bought a Chinese recipe book for cannibals. It’s called, ‘Dead Man Wokking’.

They say you are what you eat, so how come I’m not a dead abandoned baby?

Cannibal: someone who really is fed up with people

I had some friends for dinner yesterday. We were snowed in and I had to eat something.

My wife makes the best Sunday dinner. Until the kids noticed her tattoo on the roast.

Stephen Hawking – cannibals favourite meal on wheels.

Do vegetarians count towards my 5 a day?

I was sitting amoung a tribe of cannibals when one handed me a plate full of human digits. It was a finger buffet.