Category: cannibals

My wife refuses to cook. I probably need to turn the oven up.

Did you hear about the cannibals who decided to make a stew? They all had a hand in it.

I just can’t wait to see the look on the faces of the families when the rescue starts at the Chilean mine and they realise that there’s just one, very fat miner left down there.

My mates call me Pepperami. Not because i’ve got a fiery temper. Its because i ate my kids.

I’ve decided that I’m anti-abortion. They taste better alive.

My girlfriend said that she wanted a fairytale relationship. So I ate her Grandmother.

My girlfriend has always said to me you are what you eat. So today I killed Cheryl Cole tied my girlfriend down to the bed and made her eat the corpse

What do you call a bee that eats other bees? Hannibal Nectar.

Two cannibals are having dinner. “Your wife makes a great roast,” one of them says. “I know,’ the other replies, “but I sure am going to miss her.”

How do you make an abortion more interesting? Have it with chips!

Having the boss and his wife round for dinner I tried to make everything perfect. I set the table, got out the best china and helped cook in the kitchen with the wife … Despite the best wine, the wife’s meat being perfectly tender, lovely music, it soon became obvious when the police arrived …. […]

Do Cannibals refer to homeless people as Free Range?

Once, we got seriously lost on a holiday, and eventually even had to resort to cannibalism to survive. It was tough, but our choices were either that or McDonalds.

Scientists discovered two things today : A new diet-plan for Cannibals ; And a cure for Anorexia .

People in work think I’m weird because I told them that I think babies smell nice. I didn’t even get the chance to add “after 3 hours at 150 degrees.”