Category: calendar

The doctor has told my wife that we have a high probability of having a cancer baby. By my reckoning it’s only one in twelve.

People are going on about how the date 10/10/10 only comes once in 100 years…. umm doesn’t the date 9/10/10 or 11/10/10 also only come once every 100 years?

We’ve been given a 2011 calendar from the local takeaway. My girlfriend said “Quick give it here, I want to see what day my birthday’s on next year”. After she finished she asked “Do you want to check what day yours is on?” “There’s no need” I replied “my birthday is the 9th of June […]

I can’t wait till march 4th, it’s my favourite day because when people ask me what the date is it’s like I’m sending them into battle.

I just saw a calendar for sale, “Michael Jackson 1958-2009”. I didn’t buy it, I wanted a 2010 calendar.

Santa walked in on Mrs Claus having an affair. Hoe, hoe, hoe.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

March 4th… I like today’s date because it sounds like I’m telling people what to do.

I asked microsoft online help if the had a chocolate bar with Caramel, Nougart and Hazelnuts. It replied “No Topics Found”

Fact of Life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F

I really want to win a lifetime’s supply of calendars. So I know when I’m going to die.

I got the perfect calendar for 2010. A different girl posing in different positions each month. Shame I don’t support Liverpool.

Everyone likes white snow. People put up with brown snow. Everyone hates black snow. There’s even racism in snow form.

I made my own advent calendar this year with a picture of my wife behind every door. I slowly open a door each morning just to remind her that there’s nowhere to hide.

They say that the world will be over in 2012 because that’s when the Mayan calendar ends. My calendar ends this December, should I be worried?