Category: books

Guinness world records. Proof that before something amazing, there must first be alcohol.

My wife has been moaning and complaining a lot recently so i thought i’d buy that new book “50 shades of grey” as a suprise. You should have seen the look on her face when i smacked her round the head with it.

Going to have to keep a very close eye on my tatty old dog with the missus,After all he is 50 shades of grey.

I’m trying to read a book about the world’s smallest house. It’s hard to get into.

I’ve just started reading a book about Fort Knox but I just can’t get into it.

If you think the ‘amazon kindle’ text to speech option is a joke.. Try downloading ‘A Brief History Of Time’……

A recent survey of women who read 50 Shades Of Gray. Most read it with their fingers

A black man, a ginger, and a suicide bomber walk into a library, and the librarian says “Is this some sort of sick joke?”

I bought a book on Bondage. It was leather bound.

I’ve just seen a bloke spray painting a blond haired male reporter and a little white dog on the front of his car. I think he was Tin-Tin his windows.

I always take a Dan Brown novel with me when I go for a dump. Not to read; to wipe with.

Fifty Shades of Grey has apparently been responsible for saving a lot of marriages and enabling women to put a smile back on their husbands faces, and I have to agree. Playing Fifa without getting moaned at is bliss.

Found a book today called ‘Learn to Walk’. As far as I recall, it went something like: Step One Step Two Repeat.

I’ve just written a book about the inventions of Thomas Edison. It’s for those who enjoy a bit of light reading.

I’ve just read a book called “Treasure Island” Otherwise known as “How to claim benefits for Immigrants”