Category: books

J K Rowling is planning two Harry Potter sequels where he re-enters the world of the Muggles: Harry Potter & the Tuition Fees of Inaffordability Harry Potter and the Unclimbable Housing Ladder

I enjoy going up to any woman reading the 50 shades of grey books and asking them if they have got to the part where the man dies!

What does Stephen Hawking have in common with books? They both look worse with broken spines.

Everyone keeps recommending I read “50 Shades of Grey.” I keep telling them I’m not interested, at least not until they release the picture version.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman: “Where’s the self-help section?” She said that if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Thanks to ’50 Shades of Grey’, my wife’s Kindle now smells like 50 cans of tuna.

I’ve written a book on how to deal with rejection… Unfortunately I couldn’t find anybody willing to publish it, so tonight I’m going to kill all of my family and friends and then jump in front of a train.

I’m pretending to the wife that I’m interested in the book 50 shades of grey. That way, she wont think I’m a pervert when the film comes out.

I’m reading a book on helium at the moment. I’m having trouble putting it down.

Some of the worlds smallest books: My plan to find the real killers. by OJ Simpson Guide to dating etiquette. by Mike Tyson Things I cannot afford. by Bill Gates My little book of personal hygiene. by Osama Bin Laden Things I love about Bill. by Hillary Clinton

JK Rowling today is going to tell her story of press intrusion, Slight change of direction from the Harry Potter books…

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” The day I realised I was Bipolar.

Have you heard about the library in America that has burned down? Its awful, both books were destroyed and worse still one hadn’t been coloured in yet.

Many people see Shakespeare as the greatest literary of all time. Not me though, his most famous line ” To be or not to be, that is the question?” I think he was just trying to decide which pencil to use.

While Stephen King suffered from writer’s block he inadvertently wrote The Shining. I hope my tale of child molestation achieves similar success.