Category: animals/insects

Does anyone know how long you can leave a chicken in a freezer? I put it in last night, and this morning it was dead…

If your girlfriend’s cat gets eaten by an angry pitbull terrier, gently singing “The Circle of Life” into her ear WON’T cheer her up.

I went coursing with my dog, Alopecia, today. She came back after 3 hours. Still no hare.

I went in Ladbrokes today and said to the girl behind the counter ” excuse me love, can I back a horse in here?” she said ” of course you can” so I clicked my fingers and said” gee up neddy boy, in you come”

Textbooks always tell you that electric eels are “capable of stunning a full-grown horse.” That’s something useful to remember – in case I ever go scuba diving and catch myself thinking, “Hey, I think I’ll take a horse with me.”

FREE TO GOOD HOME: I recently bought a beautiful kitten, but it turns out my 1 year old daughter is allergic to her. Obviously I can no longer keep her, hence the reason I’m getting rid of her. She has lovely black hair and is very playful and friendly, great with people. She is completely […]

I make my own fun. Like today, I’m sitting on the sofa, my dog’s licking himself, I’m touching myself. We catch each others eyes, we both start laughing!

A British woman who went to a Thai nature resort to conquer her fear of monkeys has been savaged by a pack of macaques Not really a joke, Just made me laugh

I always cry when I chop an onion. Unlike kittens.

I bought a chameleon from the pet shop the other day I haven’t seen it since

My dog likes it when I speak on his behalf. Yes he does! Yes he does

I recently bought an elephant, So I could scare my wife with it when she gets home. I’ve got the elephant of surprise.

Sky 3, weekdays, at 11am ‘Dogs with jobs’ Talk about kicking the unemployed when they’re down!

What do you call an alligator who trades on the stock market? An investigator.

I’ve just got a Magicians dog, He’s an Abracalabrador