Category: animals/insects

I got my results today… My wife has left me and I got custody of the dog… RESULT !

A duck walks into a bar…. it was then collected and released in a near by park.

I visit a lot of local markets throughout the Uk. I was thinking about setting up a website where people can compare them. Can anyone lend me a meerkat?

The Yanks have decided to bomb Downing Street now David Cameron has a cat. They think they’ve found weapons of mouse destruction.

I saw a moth wriggling around on the floor today with no wings. So to help it out I decided to pour some Red Bull on it and BAM! It drowned.

My pets are very well trained. I throw a ball for my dog and shout “Catch it”. Bruno leaps into the air and catches the ball. Meanwhile, Tiddles lays one out in her litter tray!

I was on a safari in africa last week and the tour guide was naming diffrent animal groups. “Thats a pride of lions” He said A tower of giraffes A flight of birds Then he said herd of elephants… So i said Yes

Alright everyone the cows have come home, you can stop what your doing…

My son has started dating a taxidermist who specialises in large rodents. I overheard him tell his mates what a good stuffing he gave her beaver.

I just heard about the trainer that survived an attack by a killer whale. You can say what you like about child labour, but they make shoes to last.

I’ve just checked the cuckoo clocks -they’re all tickety boo.

Wasps: They are just WannaBees.

Whats about 7 inches long a little bit furry usually only comes out at night and likes my girlfriend? My new hamster

My dogs been missing for a week and I’ve had to put some posters up. He’s blind, got 3 legs, deaf in 1 ear and has aids, answers to the name, lucky.

Why do fish swim in salty water? Because pepper makes them sneeze