It always makes me laugh …
It always makes me laugh how scared my dog is of the vacuum cleaner. Even so, it was a lot cheaper than getting a vet to do the abortion.
Continue ReadingIt always makes me laugh how scared my dog is of the vacuum cleaner. Even so, it was a lot cheaper than getting a vet to do the abortion.
Continue ReadingMe and my wife were like 2 wild animals last night. She went for food while I ate the children.
Continue ReadingMy granddad used to keep a pet goldfish in his head. He loved that fish, you could see it in his eyes.
Continue ReadingI love my new job as an animal trainer. I’m currently teaching young crows. They’re battling with the alphabet though. They can’t grasp the concept of going from A to B.
Continue ReadingThe Coroner has removed a horses head from the flat of Amy Winehouse, unfortunately its still attached to her body
Continue ReadingBehave. The place where posh bees fly to.
Continue ReadingThe Higgs Bison, smallest known buffalo known to man.
Continue ReadingAs the snake sunk its fangs into my hand, I screamed to the safari guide, “please say its been de-venomed!” “Of course it has!” He said. “How can you be sure?” I asked in a panic. “Because its just injected it all into your hand,” he replied.
Continue ReadingPhew! Just spent half an hour haggling with the vet over how much to have the dog put down, and when I went back out to the car it was dead.
Continue ReadingI have a great idea for next year’s new year celebrations. I’m going to put 20 dogs in one of the London eye’s pods and watch the fireworks go off.
Continue ReadingAre seals just dog mermaids?
Continue ReadingWhats the difference between a hamster and a cow?… …the cow survives the branding
Continue ReadingI was once debating about animal testing with someone who claimed it was their responsibility to ‘give a voice to the voiceless’. So I guess parrots are fair game.
Continue ReadingThere isn’t room to swing a cat in here. Guess i’ll go outside and play.
Continue ReadingI’m allergic to sharks. When they bite me, I get terrible red lesions.
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