So the Onion says to the …
So the Onion says to the Garlic “Hey Love, why dont you take your cloves off.”
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I’m a farmer & autumn can …
I’m a farmer & autumn can be a busy time with all that preparation for sowing new crops. It gets really stressful sometimes. In fact it’s usually quite harrowing…
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the ve …
Did you hear about the vegetable farmer that died? There was a big turnup at his funeral…
Continue ReadingI took some chocolate fro …
I took some chocolate from some chocolatiers today. They were reduced to tears.
Continue Readingit always makes me laugh …
it always makes me laugh when little chavs try to steal my NY yankies hat. I always have my caps lock on
Continue ReadingWhat are prehistoric mons …
What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep? A dinosnore
Continue ReadingIt’s only lunchtime and I …
It’s only lunchtime and I’ve already broken 2 of my resolutions. At least the third is safe until I find a goat.
Continue ReadingMy wife said she’s leavin …
My wife said she’s leaving me because of my addiction to Facebook, I didn’t comment, I just gave her a thumbs up.
Continue ReadingGet rich or die trying. …
Get rich or die trying. Or in my case, don’t even try and die doing something else.
Continue ReadingThe kids shouted through, …
The kids shouted through, “Come quick dad, Nan’s ready to take you on at boxing” Sure enough, there she was, in the middle of the front room, the mother-in-law with her fists clenched and posed to strike. Well, I just took her out with the one punch … It was then I remembered we’d just […]
Continue ReadingLadies and gentlemen, ple …
Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for… … Velcro gloves!
Continue ReadingI’m not the jealous type. …
I’m not the jealous type. I wish I was, though.
Continue Readingit’s ironic that Katie Pr …
it’s ironic that Katie Price is so cheap.
Continue ReadingThe Bank of England have …
The Bank of England have announced that it will take “A Generation” to pay off the National Debt. Well I’m not fussed, thanks to our country’s young slappers, that will be in twelve to thirteen years then
Continue ReadingJust as a surgeon was fin …
Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation the patient wakes up, sits up and demands to know what is going on. “I’m about to close,” the surgeon says. The patient grabs his hand and says, “Oh, no you’re not! I’ll close my own incision.” The doctor hands him the needle and says, “Suture […]
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