If not caring about accur …
If not caring about accuracy is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
If I wake up again next t …
If I wake up again next to another desperate pig I’ll probably lose my job as night security at the abattoir.
Continue ReadingYesterday I set my wifi’s …
Yesterday I set my wifi’s name to “Hack this if you can”. When I checked it today, it was called “Challenge accepted”.
Continue ReadingI’ve realised that the pr …
I’ve realised that the problem with encouraging guys to follow their dreams is that they could get arrested for stalking.
Continue ReadingMy wife has died after fa …
My wife has died after falling off a cliff. I think she has taken it all a step too far.
Continue ReadingI gained 3 pounds this we …
I gained 3 pounds this week, I must have the worst paid job in England.
Continue ReadingThere was a man who had w …
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. […]
Continue ReadingThe wife’s really mad wit …
The wife’s really mad with me because I’ve built a bridge in the front garden She’ll get over it
Continue ReadingFeeling guilty after stea …
Feeling guilty after stealing Trivial Pursuit. I’m going to have to ask myself some very difficult questions.
Continue ReadingChina’s heaviest man, con …
China’s heaviest man, conveniently named Chin Tu Phat.
Continue ReadingLiverpool Primark will ha …
Liverpool Primark will have to employ extra security and store detectives this week. It’ll be wall to wall chavant garde at the crem.
Continue ReadingIt’s very rare that I eat …
It’s very rare that I eat steak.
Continue Reading“Nigerian President Dies …
“Nigerian President Dies After Long Illness” This is definitely a bad week in politics if you’re Brown.
Continue ReadingI’ve been eating lots of …
I’ve been eating lots of stuff from the ground without getting fat. I think I’ve got worms.
Continue ReadingWhy is it okay to get you …
Why is it okay to get your girlfriend make-up for her birthday, but Slimfast is a definite no-no?
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