China are creating a new …
China are creating a new chicken dish including some unknown ingredients. It’s called Disoriental Chicken.
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Hand Shredder For self-ha …
Hand Shredder For self-harmers everywhere
Continue ReadingWith 149 days until Chris …
With 149 days until Christmas,Harrods and Selfridges launched their earliest ever Christmas displays today……………. Which reminds me,i must get my Christmas cards sent out this weekend,so that the Royal Mail get them there on time.
Continue ReadingI’ve got a habit of throw …
I’ve got a habit of throwing my wife into various things around the house. I love the look on the ‘Angry birds’ face
Continue ReadingMy plans are always pract …
My plans are always practical! It’s the laws of physics that get in the way of my success.
Continue ReadingI got myself doner card. …
I got myself doner card. Bet I will make a cracking kebab when i die.
Continue ReadingMy wife is leaving me bec …
My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Facebook. That’s one less person on my friends list.
Continue ReadingI gave my girlfriend a gl …
I gave my girlfriend a gluestick instead of chapstick yesterday. She’s still not talking to me.
Continue ReadingAccording to the World He …
According to the World Health Organisation, HIV cases in Africa are ‘set to explode’. That’s a new symptom.
Continue ReadingI’ve just seen my neighbo …
I’ve just seen my neighbours cat stuck at the top of a 60ft tree. It’s amazing what you can see from up here.
Continue ReadingAuto correct can go to he …
Auto correct can go to he’ll.
Continue ReadingLast night, I went to a c …
Last night, I went to a costume party dressed as a knife. Thought I looked sharp to say the least.
Continue ReadingI’ve got some designer tu …
I’ve got some designer turbans for sale at discount prices. They fell off the back of a camel.
Continue ReadingI’ve just defused a black …
I’ve just defused a black guys afro. They’re trying anything to smuggle explosives on planes nowadays.
Continue ReadingMy uncle smuggled board g …
My uncle smuggled board games for the Germans during the war. He was sentenced to death for being a yahtzee sympathiser.
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