I was caught fingering a …
I was caught fingering a bird in a cupboard at my club and chucked out ….. Looking back it probaly was against RSPB rules
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’m fed up with my brothe …
I’m fed up with my brother’s boxing trophies scattered all over the house. Today I’m gonna make a stand.
Continue ReadingMe and my mates broke a w …
Me and my mates broke a world record with our Lego tower. The build up was intense.
Continue ReadingI was recently invited to …
I was recently invited to join a group on Facebook called “RIP Michael Jackson” So I joined, and did exactly that. I was promptly removed from said group.
Continue ReadingShortly after the birth o …
Shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother went out to the hairdressers. Father stayed home to care for their son, soon the baby started crying. The father did everything possible to stop the crying, but the baby wouldn’t stop. Worried he took the baby to the doctors. The Doctor examined the baby’s […]
Continue ReadingYou’ve got to hand it to …
You’ve got to hand it to the boys in blue for their professionalism. I saw a sign on the road today that said ‘stop police’, and judging by the amount of panda cars that were there, every one of them had.
Continue ReadingI walked up to a tramp to …
I walked up to a tramp today and said, “If you answer this question correctly, you will be in with a chance of winning one million pounds. Would you like to try?” His eyes lit up, “Yes please!” I said, “Right then. What is 50p + 50p?” He screamed, “One Pound!” So I give him […]
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend said she wa …
My girlfriend said she wanted my focus to be on her. so i parked it on top of her
Continue ReadingSince my friend Overdosed …
Since my friend Overdosed on Helium he doesn’t think people will take him serious, I said ‘oh, don’t talk like that.’
Continue ReadingI recently got a chinese …
I recently got a chinese cookbook. I don’t understand a word in it.
Continue ReadingI’ve just found out that …
I’ve just found out that pigeons get migraines. That’s the last time I buy my scarecrow from poundstretcher.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Man loses arm w …
BBC News: Man loses arm while on holiday in Greece Bit careless of him.
Continue ReadingWe had an african themed …
We had an african themed lunch at school today… so nothing at all.
Continue ReadingI’ve been trying to pull …
I’ve been trying to pull a girl from the IT department but I think she’s playing hard to get. At first she told me that I turned her off… Then on, then off again.
Continue ReadingIt’s hard to keep up with …
It’s hard to keep up with insomniacs.
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