At the crematorium I noti …
At the crematorium I noticed that it took the same amount of time to burn a Paki and a white person. This proves that, in God’s eyes, we are all cremated equal.
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My boss told me that my r …
My boss told me that my report concerning the company’s quarterly profit margin was below par. As a golfer, do I consider that a good or a bad thing?
Continue ReadingMy gym instructor pointed …
My gym instructor pointed at fifteen heavy dumbbells and told me I had to lift them all over the next quarter of an hour. Weight a minute…
Continue ReadingSeal – Kiss From a Rose.. …
Seal – Kiss From a Rose… More like fallen face first in a Rose Bush.
Continue ReadingHere’s a useful shopping …
Here’s a useful shopping tip – You can get a pair of shoes for 1 in the bowling alley.
Continue ReadingI feel sick that I’ll hav …
I feel sick that I’ll have to quit my debate club. It just doesn’t agree with me.
Continue ReadingMy wife come in today wit …
My wife come in today with no make up on and said, “Do I look ugly without my slap?” “No love, you look beautiful as always, you’re glowing!” I replied. Bare faced lies.
Continue ReadingWhen they want to make an …
When they want to make an area graffiti proof, why don’t they just coat the area with the paper you get on the back of credit cards? It’s the only material in the world that is totally impossible to write on.
Continue ReadingTime really flies by. See …
Time really flies by. Seems like only yesterday I was just a young apprentice-bater.
Continue ReadingWalkers have made all the …
Walkers have made all these crisp flavours for the new football season. They’ve named them after premiership greats such as Smokey Beckham. I hope David Seaman doesn’t get his own flavour…
Continue Reading“Waiter, are you a bettin …
“Waiter, are you a betting man?” “No, sir,” says the waiter. “Then you won’t be needing a tip.”
Continue ReadingI’ve finally landed my ne …
I’ve finally landed my new job as various undercover agents. Disguise the limit.
Continue ReadingI saw a sign outside our …
I saw a sign outside our town hall that said Today – Bring and Bi Sale. I went in because I’m curious.
Continue ReadingSo Russia have won the bi …
So Russia have won the bid to host the 2018 World Cup. Looks like they’re Putin one over on us.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call an argum …
What do you call an argument between an Argentinian and an Indian? A bit of Argy Bhaji.
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