Both of Michael Cera’s pa …
Both of Michael Cera’s parents worked for Xerox. This explains why every one of his parts is a facsimile of the last.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Don’t push me cause i’m c …
Don’t push me cause i’m close to the edge… But I’m not too keen on Bono.
Continue ReadingI’ve been negotiating my …
I’ve been negotiating my release. My wife says one hand job, twice a week.
Continue ReadingA family of clones moved …
A family of clones moved into the house nextdoor the other day. They seem very nice, keep themselves to themselves…
Continue ReadingYou know when you’ve got …
You know when you’ve got a bad hangover when the ‘Big Issue’ bloke gives you a quid………..
Continue ReadingThe Koreans have created …
The Koreans have created a glow in the dark dog using cloning techniques. Seriously guys, why spend $3m on this when the fridge already has a light on it?
Continue ReadingI don’t see what the fuss …
I don’t see what the fuss is all about, Johnny Knoxville set himself on fire in the second season and he’s still here.
Continue ReadingI don’t want to sound lik …
I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging or anything… but if I make it to 2013, I will have survived my 5th “end of the world” so far!
Continue ReadingI’ve just ran into a wind …
I’ve just ran into a wind turbine. Always nice to meet a fan.
Continue ReadingI’m going to go and get a …
I’m going to go and get a refund on ‘The Never Ending Story’ It’s only on for 102 minutes
Continue ReadingMy mate says he doesn’t b …
My mate says he doesn’t believe in marriage. I don’t know how he can say that though. He was my best man recently so he knows it definitely exists.
Continue ReadingManager: Remember, there’ …
Manager: Remember, there’s no I in team … Employee: Yeah and there’s no F in point.
Continue ReadingI don’t know why the poli …
I don’t know why the police are called pigs. It’s not like I’ve ever wanted to beat a pig to death.
Continue ReadingMy mate is a shape shifte …
My mate is a shape shifter… He works as a porter at the local geometry centre.
Continue ReadingI was in bed with this bi …
I was in bed with this bird last night and she asked if she could cover me in ketchup and lick it all off. I thought,’ That’s a bit saucy.’
Continue Reading