A girl once told me that …
A girl once told me that she’d die for me. Or that she’d die before she kissed me, I can’t really remember now.
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I believe that God create …
I believe that God created the world in his spare time for fun. I’m a Recreationist.
Continue ReadingJust come back from watch …
Just come back from watching James Cameron’s Avatar. Cant help to think; What if IKEA had found that tree first?
Continue ReadingIf facebook got shut down …
If facebook got shut down what would we do, socialise?
Continue ReadingTop Tip: If a police offi …
Top Tip: If a police officer pulls you over, do not tell him/her, “I find you very attractive…and that’s not just the booze talking!”
Continue ReadingI’ve been reading a book …
I’ve been reading a book recently, but every time I put it down someone keeps covering it in cornflour. The plot thickens.
Continue ReadingMy mate has just changed …
My mate has just changed his name to ‘Blackpool’. He’s got some front that lad.
Continue ReadingI think the dole office i …
I think the dole office is a great place to meet people, I’ve met all my drug dealers there.
Continue ReadingMy wife said that she wan …
My wife said that she wanted a chat, so I agreed to sit down with her for an hour. She started going on about how ‘sickipedia’ is taking over my life. I said “Slow down there, tiger. You’ve got another 57 minutes yet.
Continue ReadingMy wife keeps telling me …
My wife keeps telling me to grow up. Well this shall stop from tomorrow morning, when my power ranger stilts arrive in the post.
Continue ReadingI don’t know what the big …
I don’t know what the big deal is with this 2009 going on 2010. I experience this every night, by looking at my clock.
Continue ReadingMy yoghurt was obviously …
My yoghurt was obviously feeling the cold in the fridge. It’s now wearing a cute little green fur coat.
Continue ReadingWhen I was younger, I alw …
When I was younger, I always remember my dad saying, “Son, It’s important to have good vocabulary.” If I had only known then the difference between the words Antidote and Anecdote, he would still be alive today.
Continue ReadingI wonder how many Jamrag’ …
I wonder how many Jamrag’s T shirts have DUPLICATE on the back of them
Continue ReadingLittle Johnny goes over t …
Little Johnny goes over to little Billy’s house and rings the bell. His mother answers and Johnny asks if Billy can come and play war in the street with his friends. Billy’s mother says to Johnny, “You know Billy doesn’t have any arms or legs.” Johnny replies, “I know, but we want to use him […]
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