My son came over to me an …
My son came over to me and asked, “Dad, how do you spell diarrhoea?” I replied, “I don’t know son, but Doesn’t It Always Run Really Horribly Over Each Ankle!”
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How times have changed. M …
How times have changed. My son came home from school the other day and told me he won a spelling bee. When I was at school I won a horse that could do algebra
Continue ReadingI saw a scruffy looking y …
I saw a scruffy looking young man sat on the street this morning behind a card that read: “Help the Homeless” So I gave him the number of an estate agent I know.
Continue ReadingAn apple and a duplicate …
An apple and a duplicate both fall from a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, because the duplicate keeps inexplicably being voted up.
Continue ReadingMy friend said to me, “I …
My friend said to me, “I can’t believe you’ve lived in the same house all your life.” I replied, “I haven’t. I’m not dead yet.”
Continue ReadingWhat’s worse than finding …
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a trojan horse in your PC.
Continue ReadingYesterday,my girlfriend c …
Yesterday,my girlfriend came home and said, “I’ve some good news and some bad news: the good news is, I got 18 out of 20 on my drivers test.” I said, “great! What’s the bad news?” She replied, “they were all pedestrians.”
Continue ReadingRadio Voice: and the two …
Radio Voice: and the two men come together and shake hands ……. now that’s what you call a sticky situation
Continue Reading‘A new version of Windows …
‘A new version of Windows Live Messenger is available, would you like to update?’ I would do Windows but you’ve caught me at a bit of a bad time, I was just about to check my Bebo page then I’m taking the penny farthing out for a spin.
Continue ReadingMy fridge has broken down …
My fridge has broken down and the engineer cannot come out until next week due to the freezing weather conditions outside. Great, warm beer all Christmas for me.
Continue ReadingI’ve just been banned fro …
I’ve just been banned from an online fashion forum. Apparently my threads weren’t cool enough.
Continue ReadingI like to dress my son up …
I like to dress my son up in a red and white T-shirt and then lose him in Sainsburys. It’s like real life Where’s Wally!
Continue ReadingA picture is worth a thou …
A picture is worth a thousand words. And they usually start with: “Honestly officer, I have no idea how that got on my computer!”.
Continue ReadingThe Vice President resign …
The Vice President resigned and that of course is Iranian for shot and thrown out of a car.
Continue ReadingApparently Gordon Brown k …
Apparently Gordon Brown knew about some corruption within his party but he always turned a blind eye.
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