My little black book of p …
My little black book of past conquests is hidden in plain sight of my wife. Thank you Facebook.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I cant afford an expensiv …
I cant afford an expensive home security system… But I do have bubble wrap carpets and a shotgun…
Continue ReadingThe other day I was at my …
The other day I was at my PC and I had a brain wave. So I emailed Microsoft, and the new Windows 7 now has a spell checker. Im Gordon Brown, and Windows 7 Was my idea.
Continue ReadingNever interrupt a magicia …
Never interrupt a magician while he is performing a magic trick. It will frustrate him so much that he’ll pull his hare out.
Continue ReadingCan’t believe how many su …
Can’t believe how many suicide bombers there are these days. They’re all over the place.
Continue ReadingYou’d think that by now, …
You’d think that by now, with all the recent advances in technology, someone would have come up with some really good fake Loch Ness Monster evidence.
Continue ReadingTomorrow the wife goes fo …
Tomorrow the wife goes for a twenty week scan. That’s brilliant. I won’t see her again until March 30th, 2012.
Continue ReadingCAUTION DYSLEXICS: Cillit …
CAUTION DYSLEXICS: Cillit Bang is NOT some kind of magical lube
Continue ReadingOk…I know I have a hist …
Ok…I know I have a history of not paying back money that I owe but give me some credit.
Continue ReadingWhat we say, and what we …
What we say, and what we actually mean. lol = I didn’t smile but I do appreciate the humour of the event in question. rofl = I smiled a tiny bit, and I also made a strange noise from my nose. lmao = I smiled, and made that strange noise again, this time in a […]
Continue ReadingI bought a couple of thin …
I bought a couple of things from a second-hand record shop. I’m now officially the 1979 world’s fattest man and the tallest person in 1984.
Continue ReadingI said to my mate, “Did y …
I said to my mate, “Did you know that the new iphone has a time travel app on it?” He said, “What, the iphone 5?” I said, “No, the iphone 37.”
Continue ReadingI swear I saw my Tourette …
I swear I saw my Tourette’s councillor earlier. He’s not very good.
Continue ReadingNo thanks Aero, if I real …
No thanks Aero, if I really wanted to “feel the bubbles”, I’d just jump into the bath with my daughter like normal.
Continue ReadingA ‘good lover’ always com …
A ‘good lover’ always comes after his ‘girlfriend’. Alphabetically.
Continue Reading